NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
