so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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