what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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