have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
