I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
