i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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