I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
