In the future we'll all be gay
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
