So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
