just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
love makes seman taste better
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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