Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
