you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
