gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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