The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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