He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
