Christians are straight up FREAKS
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
