dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just found puke in my bra..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
