This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
