i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
