i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
