There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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