so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
