Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
