I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The adults are the big ones right?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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