i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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