At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
