when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
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