It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
