You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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