i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
