Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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