A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
