can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize