I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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