the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I love you. Go after that dick
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
