is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am available for nakedness
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
