She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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