Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize