yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
