Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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