All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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