ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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