I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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