I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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