sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
