great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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