its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize