Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize