im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
