____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
no you cant smoke seaweed
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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