i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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