What a fucking waste of an outfit
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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