i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
