You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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