dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
