margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
